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What If I Don't Want A Relationship?



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What If I Don't Want A Relationship?

Question from Terry:


I know this section is about relationships, but what if I don't want a relationship? Forget marriage--I am not even close to thinking about that. And I just don't have a desire to deal with the emotions and another person's feelings. I don't mind hanging out and kicking it with a beautiful woman, but it seems many women will ignore you if you don't commit.

-- Terry

The Brothas Response:

Terry,

You can probably guess the first and most important advice The Brothas can give you. Yep, good old-fashioned--communication. It's one of our favorite words because you can solve a lot of relationship and life problems by being open and honest about your feelings and intentions.

Human beings are social creatures and we often enjoy interacting with others. Some of us savor the togetherness of a relationship. Others enjoy romantic, or sexual encounters, but don't like committing to one person. And while media and society promote long-term duos, there's nothing wrong with living the single life. As long as you are upfront and honest with your partner(s) about what you want, or don't want, things should be cool.

It you want to further dissect your situation, it may be helpful to sort out your feelings related to sexuality and relationships. For example, are you satisfied with the female friends you keep, or do you wish to make more time for dating? Do you want a dedicated romantic partner even though you don't want to be married? And lastly, where do your feelings of singlehood originate? Were your parents together, or separated, and what experiences may have propelled you to distance yourself from committment?

Keep in mind that there are no right or wrong answers, so explore your thoughts and go with what feels best for you.

Signed,

The Brothas

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