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Women Don't Want Me



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A question about those good men who never seem to get noticed.

Question from Martin:


I'm wondering why women don't pay much attention to me. I'm not the best looking guy in the world, but I consider myself to be smart, outgoing, and I have a good sense of humor. Besides that, I have a great job, no children, and I'm absolutely drama-free.

Women always say they want good men, but why does it seem like it's so hard for me to find a good woman? How come they never appreciate a truly good man such as myself?

-- Martin

The Brothas Response:

Dear Martin,

We've received this question a million times. You sound like the type of guy women say they look for in long-term relationships. But keep in mind, not all women are the same, or want the same things. Society, opinion, and the media are responsible for categorizing men as either "good" or "bad." The true worth of a good man can only be determined by the woman he is with.

Forget about the being handsome stuff. Sure - women like good-looking men, but they are much more interested in quality men. Again, what is "good" or "quality" is relative to each woman.

When dating, one of your goals should be to determine what each woman wants in a man. What is she looking for? What does she expect from men?

Remember -- her desires have nothing to do with you and you shouldn't change anything about yourself to accomodate. Once you find out what she's looking for, you compare it to what you can offer and see if they're a cool match.

Some women find men who are respectful, goal-oriented, and responsible -- the perfect counterpart for what they consider, "good." Other women may have different definitions. Not every woman thinks a smart guy, with a six-figure income, who likes telling jokes, and who takes care of his brother's 5-year old daughter -- is a good man. All of those may be admirable attributes, but they mean nothing if a woman doesn't respect them.

Any man with positive attributes such as yours, will surely get some attention from the ladies. Just keep a good approach and a positive outlook, and plenty of good women who recognize your worth will come.

Signed,

The Brothas

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