Do Women Expect to Find A Perfect Man?
Do women have unrealistic expectations?
Question from Ross:
It seems that no matter how hard I try, the women I date want more and more from me. Sadly, I feel like giving less and less! I tend to date successful, professional women, and I know that may be a part of it.
When I'm nice to them, they appreciate it, but seem to expect more. When I'm attentive, helpful and supportive, they appreciate it too, but still don't seem satisfied. I don't feel like I can give more than I already do.
Guys--what am I doing wrong?
The Brothas Response:
It is highly unlikely that you're doing anything wrong and very likely that you're meeting women with high expectations. As you noted, many successful sistas won't settle for a man who isn't established himself. But being established is one thing--expecting a perfect man is another.
Men and women typically enter relationships with their own expectations and ideas about how it should work. Instead of fully discussing similaries, needs, and expectations early in the dating game, many couples sit back and observe the natural tendencies of their partners... waiting to see if the other person will meet those expectations. This isn't a bad strategy, but it rarely works in real life. A man can't be anything and everything to a woman, and it's unfair for any woman to place that burden upon him.
When looking at the aspects of relationships (communication, attentiveness, intimacy, support, kindness) women usually focus on quality, not quantity. They can also have a short memory. So, if you take her out to dinner and buy her a dozen roses today, it doesn't mean you'll get away with kicking her dog tomorrow.
Be especially wary of women who want more than they're willing to give. If you feel that she's focusing too much on the number of gifts you buy, you might want to consider dating a different type of woman.
Ask the Brothas